How-to coubs: Things you say when you don't know what to say

Let Russian movies teach you how to make excuses

When you try to evade any judgment, just say these things from different Russian movies and cartoons.

1. First of all, tell everyone you are innocent. (‘The Diamond Arm’, 1969)

- Don’t blame me. He came by himself. (Не виноватая я, он сам пришел!)

2. Or pretend you have no idea what is happening. (‘Return of the Prodigal Parrot’)

- What about me? I did nothing! Nothing! (А я что? Я ничего! Я ничего!)

3. Or say as many useless things as possible. (‘Operation Y and Shurik's Other Adventures’, 1965)

- This is not our method! What about humanism? What about man to man? (Это же не наш метод! Где гуманизм? Где человек человеку?)

4. Even if you terribly misunderstood your task, tell your boss you were provoked. (‘Dead Man's Bluff’, 2005)

- He was rude, took his gun, and then two other thugs turned up, all with guns. They began to threaten us, so... we killed them all! (Он стал грубить, пушку выхватил, потом еще какие-то два отморозка появились, все с оружием, стали нам угрожать, ну короче мы их всех... убили!)

5. Anyway, promise that everything will be ok next time. (‘Everybody Dies But Me’, 2008)

- Go! (Идите!)
- Katya... (Кать!)
- What? (Что, Кать?)
- Don't be angry. We'll just go to the discotheque, but then we'll all be friends again. I promise. No offence, okay? (Ну ладно тебе, мы только на дискотеку сходим, а потом опять все вместе. Честное слово! Без обид, ладно?)

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