20 mind-boggling Russian billboards

Kommersant
Russians rent billboard space to confess true love, wish happy birthday to a pal, and advertise as no one else does. Some of these will blow your mind.

1. “Driving school – I’ll teach you how to drive”

A crazy looking aviator is apparently the best instructor in town.

2. “They take everything”

This public service ad has a dubious meaning when placed next to a sign that warns about a traffic police station 400 meters away.

3. “Blacksmith shop”

The kid, however, doesn’t look very happy with the service.

4. “Affordable housing – A dream”

This construction company’s name really cuts to the chase. 

5. “To swear is to be an ape”

Radical measures have to be taken to shame folks from using foul language.

6. “Haven’t you paid your bill for hot water? He’s coming after you then. Cold water is not always good for your health.”

Some utility companies threaten customers with Ivan the Terrible tactics to encourage them to pay bills on time.

7. “Poseidon – The morning does not begin with coffee.”

We all believed it did. This bathroom equipment shop knows your morning routine better than anyone else.

8. “Buy a laptop and get a free headset.”

This doesn’t sound like a joke in Russia as the phrase also means "get hit in the ear."

9. “Who will renovate your house? Find professionals here.”

The billboard’s owners must have had a few troubles with migrant workers, it seems.

10. “Metrika – Construction hypermarket for Pushkin.”

We don’t really know why Pushkin was chosen, but the poet sure looks like a real man holding a drill.

11. “Squirrels are the best neighbors.”

Every Russian agrees with this slogan by a construction company that sells houses in a forest.

12. “Beauty studio – Marilyn”

The owners have very specific aesthetic preferences.

13. “We work for Leo Tolstoy.”

Russian tech giant Yandex only means to say that its office is located on Leo Tolstoy Street.

14. “I’m looking for a girl in a blue dress who was drinking coffee in the café ‘In Vino’ in the Coliseum Cinema shopping mall on Sept. 30 at 3pm. ;) – I’ll be waiting for you there at 7 p.m. every day ;)”

A big-hearted Russian man never skimps when looking for the woman he falls for.

15. “Russia knows, and Samara knows that a girl named Katya is tastier than sour cream.”

A rather odd compliment from an amorous gentleman, but the fine looking Garfield cat saves the whole risky love confession.

16. “Zhenya, you are the best.”

Russian girls also know how to surprise their men.

17. “Happy BD, pal.”

This is what’s called ‘people’s creativity’ at its finest.

18. “Winter is coming – jacket and coat sale!”

These coat sellers know what’s trendy these days and how to hype it.

19. “You have the right to send everything – Russian Post.”

This ad exploits people’s stress a bit too much.

20. “We kindly ask passengers to start kissing so that your plane takes off without delay. Domodedovo Airport.”

They’re talking sense at Domodedovo.

See how to entertain yourself if you happen to be in a small Russian town here.

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